Don’t be fooled! Video game April Fools’ 2014 joke round-up

From the too ridiculous to be believed, to things that make you cry when you learn they’re a lie, April Fools’ Day is a day when it’s impossible to trust anything you read. To help you separate fact from fiction, we’re rounding up the best jokes we find:

Get a job at Google as a Pokemon Master

This one’s half true. You can catch Pokemon on your iOS or Android device using the Google Maps app right now. However, you’re probably not going to get a job at Google just for finding Pokemon on a map.

Diablo III goes mobile with Happy Reaper

This Blizzard take on Flappy Bird isn’t a real game, but if it was, it would let you “take on the role of Malthael, the Angel of Death, who’s recently returned to Sanctuary with a vengeance.”

Blizzard fighting game: Vengeance of the Vanquished

It’s not playable, but Blizzard went all-out with the screens, character bios, and description for their fake fighting game (which you should read). It also includes a controller with a built-in credit card reader: “Speed up your in-game purchases and give your character some extra punch with this convenient credit card swipe strip right there on the controller!”

Renamed modes in Call of Duty: Ghosts

Maybe you’d like to join a match of “PEW PEW,” “YOLO, “Bro,” or “Do u even cap?”

Play as a Dragon in Cryptic’s Neverwinter game

A developer diary shows how Cryptic is balancing dragons as a new playable race for their Neverwinter MMO. Watch the video above to see OP dragons wearing hats and riding mounts.

Vlambeer’s rougelike Nuclear Throne becomes an FPS

In a Steam Community statement, developer Vlambeer announces they’re taking their upcoming game in a new direction: first-person shooter.

Arma 3 gets kart DLC

The first “official premium DLC for Arma 3” mimics the Van Damme “truck splits” commercial to introduce the game’s upcoming kart expansion.

A Mass Effect Garrus Vakarian body pillow

Cuddle up with Garrus Vakarian in this one-of-a-kind body pillow available on the BioWare store. “This therapeutic companion pillow provides comfort and protection when your guard is down.”

Sony Power Food offers edible charging

Charge your phones and batteries by plugging them into cakes and cereal (editor’s note: don’t actually do this). Sony says “By creating an enzyme that enables the chemical energy of organic matter to be transferred directly into gadgets, we’re bringing about the next step in electronic evolution. Voltaic Enzyme.”

Wargaming launches online F2P (browser) game: World of Tank: The Crayfish

You can actually play this new game from World of Tanks developer Wargaming, but it’s slightly lower-budget than the actual WoT game. The Crayfish is a flash game where you fight off an endless army of killer crustaceans.

Fez sequel Fez II is back in development

This isn’t confirmedto be a lie…but it’s pretty unlikely. Game designer Phil Phis tweeted that Fez II is back on!

Guild Wars 2 Bobblehead characters

The size of the heads of all characters in Guild Wars 2 have been increased 200%. But don’t worry, the change is temporary.

Titanfall get Optimus Prime DLC

A fake trailer for the content also says that the game also features “Prime Time,” a new song by Linkin Park.

World of Warplanes gets UFOs

A press release says that all players will get a free “Tier 5 German Kampfflugplatte Sleipnir I UFO.”

New Smash Bros. character: Nester

Remember Nester from the old Nintendo Power magazine cartoon Howard and Nester? A spoof site (with incredibly terrible art) will try to convince you that the the red-headed protagonist is in the next version of Smash Bros. The art is pretty terrible, but the page layout mimics the official Smash Bros. site well.

War of the Vikings introduces god powers

The new trailer for War of the Vikings shows off Thor-like hammer throwing abilities, the ability to fly, and “God-like Fury,” which rains death down from the heavens.

Tim Burton is making a Killzone puppet movie

From the official Sony Killzone blog comes a movie direct by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. The site says, “The movie focuses on the events depicted in Killzone: Shadow Fall after the Helghast settle on planet Vekta.”

Blizzard continues HotS naming convention with next StarCraft expansion

This one goes pretty deep with multiple joke layers, but it’s a funny read.

….

Here are a few other sample headlines that might not have been written yet, but that you’ll probably read somewhere before the end of the day tomorrow:

• Video game company X buys video game company y (i.e. Microsoft buys Nintendo)
• Game publisher known for one type of game makes a game using that IP in a new and ridiculous genre (i.e. Battlefield kart racer)
• Anything at all related to Half-Life 3

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